Friday, August 19, 2005

The Day After Tomorrow TODAY

"The sky is falling!"

Hold on there, Chicken Little...it's not the sky falling. It's a gigantic hunk of ice!

The Fontana, California home of Johnny and Correan Worthy was recently struck by a massive piece of ice measuring 3 feet wide and 4 inches thick. At 9 PM just last Sunday the megacryometeor crashed through the roof of their home and slammed into a chair in the livingroom where Johnny normally sits.

Luckily, Johnny was in the kitchen washing dishes.

His wife, Correan, was thankful no one was hurt. She told reporters that she's not really in shock about the damage done to her home. HUH? A hunk of ice came from clear skies and put a hole through your roof! Not to mention it could've killed Johnny had he been sitting in his favorite chair watching ESPN. Plus, the ice chunk barely missed a gas line.

Maybe the fact that he was actually washing dishes shocked her more.

The damage was pretty severe. The ice's impact was so great, it blew open the front door and sent shards of roofing material flying in all directions. The flying "shrapnel" even tore tile off the walls.

Megacryometeors are a mystery to scientists. They have been occurring more and more often. On July 21 of this year, a ice-meteor punched a hole through a roof of a Lacey, Washington home. And in Februrary of this year, a block of ice the size of a concrete block slammed into a Decateur, Illinois home.

Apart from their super-size, what remains a mystery is how these things are formed in the first place. They've been known to come down from clear blue skies...in mild temperatures. Recently, scientists in Spain believe it's from global warming.

Oh great. Of course they would blame it on global warming. Global warming is supposedly responsible for all the hurricanes, tsunami tidal waves, vanishing polar bears, extintion of the dinosaurs, escalating gas prices, and the cinematic release of "From Justin to Kelly."

Other theories abound...from biblical prophecies to terrorists. Geez. People really are so dumb.

I know the real culprits...

CANADIANS.
Think about it.

They have access to ice. They are also experts with ice - ever heard of Wayne Gretzky? How about that Olympic diabolical duo of Sale and Pelletier? Canadians do have the resources to create ice catapult machines. They have the perfect geographical position to launch these huge Canadian ice bombs at the U.S. And they have motive - world domination.

Who do you think was responsible for the Great Blackout of August 13, 2003? I know that it was a Canadian plot to cut off power to the Northwest while heavily armed Canadian Mounties and a secret Canadian military force dubbed "The Penguin Patrol" were to cross the border from New York.Just look at them....readying their ice torpedoes...preying on unsuspecting and innocent Americans.

Witnesses from Buffalo, NY have said that at night, you can hear the Canadians sharpening their ice skates and arming their icy-terror cannons.

6 comments:

Andrew said...

What a great story. Those Canadians ... I just knew they were too nice to be true!

Jim said...

hehe, probably true, I always thought it was from flushing a toilet on a jet, so I have been timing my Ocupado-visits over Ladue for naught

Jillian said...

LOL -- Yeah, Canadians are the culprits of EVERYTHING, really. ;-)

Okay, so maybe they didn't cause the Fantastic Four movie to be rated 2 out of 5 stars, but still...

The Phoenix said...

Behind that pleasant and amiable fascade beats the heart of a viscious and plotting militant bent on world domination. They weaken our spirits by sending over acts like Avril Lavigne and Rick Moranis. Although, I like Shania. And that John Candy! He was a hoot in "Who's Harry Crumb." Jim Carrey was great in....wait....what am I saying?! The Canadians have done it again! Make it stop!!!!!!!!!

sirensong72 said...

It's like my mother always said..."Blame Canada". And I do.

sarah saad said...

شركة نقل عفش بالقصيم
شركة نقل عفش بتبوك
شركة نقل عفش بابها

Post a Comment