Wednesday, September 6, 2006

Glaive To Hunt Down Osama?

Do you remember that 1983 movie Krull? Oh man. What a fanastic film. I was in the 5th grade, and it had everything a kid could want in a sci-fi/fantasy adventure. It was a mix of Star Wars and King Arthur - swords, fights, laser guns, bad guys in black, and of course...The Glaive. This was an ancient weapon the prince of Krull used to defeat the bad guys. This thing was a spinning boomerang weapon of mass destruction. It had five sharp claws, and always returned to the wielder's hand.

Is this magical weapon the inspiration for a new fight against terrorism?

The United States Air Force has recently teamed up with Triton Industries out of Massachusetts to develop a robotic frisbee that kills badguys. I call it a killer frisbee. They call it a Modular Disc-Wing Urban Close Munition.

Here's how it works:

These robotic frisbees will be shot up into the air using something resembling those skeet disc launchers. While in the air, they will be remote controlled by soldiers on the ground. These robotic discs can also operate on their own if necessary.

Now, here's where the fun begins. The frisbees, when coming upon some terrorist hiding behind a cave or some rocks, will shoot these warheads that explode and fire armor-piercing molten metal, shredding anything in its way. It can fire in one concentrated spot, acting as a bunker buster, or it can disperse itself to mow-down a large group of insurgents.

What makes these killer discs so great is that the good guys can control them while staying out of harm's way, the discs are incredibly maneuverable, and they can attack a single person or a group of hostiles. It makes killing so more incredibly safer!

I think weapons designers should continue to draw from sci-fi movies for their ideas.

Star Wars lightsabers. I want one. I want one now.

Alien's robot suit. Remember when Ripley climbed inside that huge mech suit to rescue the little girl? In the suit, she told the alien to "leave her alone, you bitch!" and went toe-to-toe with the creature. These mech suits would come in handy also when stuck in traffic.

Star Trek's beaming/teleport technology. Imagine if we could transport ourselves anywhere anytime. It could also revolutionize pizza delivery.


David Amulet said...

Brilliant! I would also want to have a TIE fighter from Star Wars. I could fly right over the traffic.

And shoot some the cars just for fun.

As for the killer frisbees, Modular Disc-Wing Urban Close Munition is an awful name. The best acronym I can come up with is Mod-Wurclom. So not catchy.

-- david

Mr. Friendly said...

My idea kind of sucks, but here goes:
Carbon beer freezing similar to what they did to Han Solo in Empire Strikes Back, only with beer. A real boon to those work(alc)aholics that need a pick me up on the job.

One other crappy idea: X-ray sunglasses like you see in the back of comic books. Only these would work. Several uses: lechery, cheating at cards, you know, etc.

Curare_Z said...

Ok -- I LOVED Krull. Favorite line: "The man has raisins in his braincase."

LOL. I'm thinking the creators of the Modular Disc-Wing Urban Close Munition (MDWUCM for...short?) have raisins in thier braincases.

That being said, I'd love to have the heavy armor in Starship Troopers. (The book, not the movie. The movie didn't do that awesome technology justice)

Keshi said...

Why is Osama still alive when Steve is dead?


OnMyWatch said...

This is great!

Maybe they could use the Transmutatron from the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra movie and turn all of the insurgents into dogs, which would jump for those frisbess in a heartbeat. :)

As military as I am, I still can't come up with an acronym either.

Mimi said...

i would be first in line for the robot suit. I love that thing. And I would take a light saber too.

KC said...

Man, I need to watch more sci-fi movies so I can create weapons of mass destruction. I think I'll go to the video store this evening. I got some catchin' up to do!

(more singing on my blog....)

:P fuzzbox said...

I just wanna chunk energy balls like a Sith.

The Phoenix said...

I would love my own Death Star...but I'd only destroy evil planets and such.

I'd rename my weapon The Love Star.

Carmel said...

as long as they don't misfire with those killer frisbees! lol.

Jenna Howard said...

Killer frisbees? Coooool. Can I have one for work?

Michelle said...

Hmmmm maybe you could market one in Pakistan. Our morning news mentioned that Pakistan have offered Bin Laden a home if he's sick of hiding and agrees to be a good boy!

Ben Heller said...

I've always wanted a jetpack, like in the Bond movies Phoenix.

Those Killer frisbees look awesome. I'd love to have a go with one of those.

cube said...

I really enjoyed this post. These killer frisbees are something else. They remind me of Oddjob's killer hat slicing through the statue in the James Bond movie?

And the little hairy kid's killer boomerang from the Max Max movie?

Definitely weaponeers should take a page from movies.

Me, I want a phaser, but I settled for a TOS phaser replica that is also a water pistol.

DaBich said...

LOL...I love ALL these ideas, but what REALLY made me laugh, was this line:
" It makes killing so more incredibly safer."
Now *THAT* tickles my funny bone.

Sherri said...

Oooooh... I've always wanted a light saber!! LOL!!

O Ceallaigh said...

I wanted a transporter too. Until I read Lawrence Krauss's The Physics of Star Trek. Where I think he pointed out, that in order to disassemble all the component parts of the transportee and put it all back together again, you'd have to apply some massive fraction of the total energy of the universe to the object, instantaneously. ZZZZZIT! And then there's the little matter of rebooting the computer. It took you how long to get that college degree?

Physicists can be such spoilsports.

Speaking of which, just what are these 21st-century hi-tech ninja stars using for energy, anyway? Hmmm?

The Phoenix said...

That reminds me of how Willy Wonka used Wonkavision to transport a chocolate bar.

Jennifer said...

I'd hate to get a pizza that's been accidentially melded with the pizza delivery guy though. HA~!

MIA said...

I just think that stuff called a can of whoop ass would be fine.
Another good weapon was the snowglobe in the movie Unfaithful-seemed to do the trick.

great post I really did laugh out loud

Fated said...

The great thing about the killer discs is that the enemies that happen to survive the attack will think that UFO's have come to claim the Earth!

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

I don't know where you got that pic of the Marlboro man lighting one off a light sabre, but it's sweet.

Phats said...

I have never even heard of that movie, does it make me a loser?!

Howie on big brother got light sabers win he won HOH haha

Jamie Dawn said...

I'd like to have all of 007's gadgets too.

I hope that "beam me up, Scotty" technology actually is possible. That would be so amazingly cool!

As for our soldiers and new weaponry, I'm all for anything that would give them an edge over our enemies.

Laurie said...

But can I use them for Frisbee Golf?

Jon Cox said...

Hahaha! AWESOME POST!!!! :o)

James said...

Reminds me of Predator's disc-weapon-thing in both movies.

They should just stick to Modern Urban Disc-Wing.

Anonymous said...

Great post!

I want the "cloaking device" made famous by the Romulians in Star Trek and explained in the Monty Python skit "The Advantage of not Being Seen".


starbender said...

That is soooo AWESOME!

mojotek said...

Hell yes! I knew I wasn't the only one who loved that movie.

I think I almost cried when the cyclops got trapped by the cave-in though...

I can't believe how much of that movie I can remember after all these years!

The Phoenix said...

The movie just reminds me of being a kid. I'm tempted to watch Krull now, through the eyes of an adult, but I'm afraid it might rob all the wonder and excitement from when I was young.

Etchen said...

Seriously, that lightsaber is great--me want one too.

amber said...

AM I the only one who can't wait for the mass distribution of the Jetson-esque flying car?

THAT would be a really useful gadget!

ozymandiaz said...

Don't forget the Cherry 2000! She was the best invention ever.

starbender said...

oh, I luv krull---haven't seen it in 4-ever!

Yawn said...

I always liked the idea of apocalyptic robotic technology. You know, the kind that drives humans underground and hunts them like animals or holds them as energy cells, depending on what apocalyptic movie theory you subscribe to. Check out the Daily Dirt/Dirtfiles archives for some extreme paranoia scenarios. We already know that robots can eat flesh to create energy and self-replicate. Now all we need is some mad scientist to tie all these things together and bring it on.

the weirdgirl said...

That's pretty cool. I'd want to know the range, though. I mean, a frisbee only goes so far.

Do you think enemy forces would train dogs to jump up and grab the discs out of the air?

Sar said...

You are so geeked out in this post, Phoenix! I love it! :)

Jay said...

Sounds like fun, eh?

starbender said...


Stacy The Peanut Queen said... were in fifth grade in 1983???

Man, I can't get passed that. I am SO old!


LBseahag said...

not visiting your blog was like dropping out of community is good again, I am here, safe, and my tuition is paid...

Yawn said...

Just an FYI Phoenix: I have resigned from my position as secret agency administrator. Should you know of anyone in need of a market segmentation specialist and planner/neurochemical engineer/biogenetic manipulation software programmer/fry cook/window washer, please inform them of my availability.

Laurie said...

Hey... where oh where have you been??? Miss you!

Nick Payne said...

I loved Krull as a a kid!

All the same it's a little depressing and ironic that man's creative talents oftem manifest themselsves so imaginitively in his destructive pursuits. I was reading about that metal storm gun that spits out bullets at a rate of a million a minute... I mean you'd just dessicate a human if you hit them with that.

My personal technological choice would be the vorlonesque human ranger transport from the year 1,002,262 in Babylon 5... organic, quasi-sentient and with a funky encounter suit wardrobe for spooking out the neighbours!

charlesstokes said...

Why a killer frisbe==try a frisbie that disinagrates all known clothing how can a human concentrate on killing if there are no clothing to cover up all that flesh!!Of course than you will have nothing but a lot of nudists==whats wrong with that??==c.s.

goddess said...

I saw that movie receintly in a dive bar. Strange that it's now on your blog.

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