Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Too Much of a Good Thing Can Lead To Suicide?

Yet one more study is getting published showing a strong correlation between breast implants and suicide.

Why, oh why?

Doctors from the Laval University of Quebec, along with others from the Canadian Public Health Agency and Cancer Care Ontario studied 24,600 women whom received breast implants for cosmetic purposes only. The study lasted 15 years. What they learned was that the women that had implants had a suicide rate 73% higher than the control group.

This startling finding is greatly supported by similar studies.

For example, in 2004, a Danish study found that silicone pumped women had a higher suicide rate. A University of Pennsylvania study in 2003 likewise had similar results.

So what's the deal?

These previous studies took stock of the psychological health of these women that decided to go under the knife to get bigger boobies. Generally, these women had lower self-esteem, less self-confidence, and higher rates of mental illness.

So Joan Rivers must have the lowest self-esteem known to man. Acutally, Joan Rivers has been dead for 10 years. Her daughter has been controlling her mother's body like a puppet.

What do these results mean? Simply put, doctors must tend to the psychological needs of women wanting breast implants. And often, cosmetic surgery isn't the complete answer to a woman's lack of confidence.

In related studies, women who received any kind of cosmetic surgery had a higher rate of suicide than the general public. But the breast implanted women had a 20% higher rate of suicide than those who had all types of plastic surgery.

In related news, Pamela Anderson has been put under suicide-watch.

Wednesday, September 6, 2006

Glaive To Hunt Down Osama?

Do you remember that 1983 movie Krull? Oh man. What a fanastic film. I was in the 5th grade, and it had everything a kid could want in a sci-fi/fantasy adventure. It was a mix of Star Wars and King Arthur - swords, fights, laser guns, bad guys in black, and of course...The Glaive. This was an ancient weapon the prince of Krull used to defeat the bad guys. This thing was a spinning boomerang weapon of mass destruction. It had five sharp claws, and always returned to the wielder's hand.

Is this magical weapon the inspiration for a new fight against terrorism?

The United States Air Force has recently teamed up with Triton Industries out of Massachusetts to develop a robotic frisbee that kills badguys. I call it a killer frisbee. They call it a Modular Disc-Wing Urban Close Munition.

Here's how it works:

These robotic frisbees will be shot up into the air using something resembling those skeet disc launchers. While in the air, they will be remote controlled by soldiers on the ground. These robotic discs can also operate on their own if necessary.

Now, here's where the fun begins. The frisbees, when coming upon some terrorist hiding behind a cave or some rocks, will shoot these warheads that explode and fire armor-piercing molten metal, shredding anything in its way. It can fire in one concentrated spot, acting as a bunker buster, or it can disperse itself to mow-down a large group of insurgents.

What makes these killer discs so great is that the good guys can control them while staying out of harm's way, the discs are incredibly maneuverable, and they can attack a single person or a group of hostiles. It makes killing so more incredibly safer!

I think weapons designers should continue to draw from sci-fi movies for their ideas.
Like:

Star Wars lightsabers. I want one. I want one now.

Alien's robot suit. Remember when Ripley climbed inside that huge mech suit to rescue the little girl? In the suit, she told the alien to "leave her alone, you bitch!" and went toe-to-toe with the creature. These mech suits would come in handy also when stuck in traffic.



Star Trek's beaming/teleport technology. Imagine if we could transport ourselves anywhere anytime. It could also revolutionize pizza delivery.

Monday, September 4, 2006

The Crocodile Hunter Falls

How many times have we seen The Crocodile Hunter cheat death?

Unfortunately, Mother Nature took Steve Irwin's life today.

Steve Irwin, known to many around the world as The Crocodile Hunter, has died today. At the age of 44, the wacky Austrailian leaves behind a wife and two young children. His work, which is primarily based on bringing the viewer so dangerously close to wild animals, finally took Steve Irwin's life. This will probably bring the curtain down on his show, which is viewed by over 200 million people every week.

Filming off the Great Barrier Reef, a stingray's harpoon-like tail pierced the Crocodile's Hunter's chest, putting a hole in Irwin's heart. He and his crew was filming a new series called "Ocean's Deadliest."

Steve Irwin is probably best known for putting his life in harm's way. From picking up deadly spiders to hunching over and placing his head near a croc's jaws, viewers would gasp every time this crazy guy did one of his stunts. To us, he had a deathwish. To Irwin, he loved giving us a close-up view of wildlife we otherwise wouldn't get to see. Many times, he missed just getting bit, chomped on, cut-up, or spat at by mere inches while yelling his trademark, "Crikey!"

His life wasn't without controversy as well. Irwin and his crew were investigated for interacting too closely with penguins and whales while filming in Antartica. And there was the time he was severlly injured by a crocodile actually biting down on his leg. Of course, there's the baby incident.

During a show at the Austrailia Zoo, Irwin held his one-month old son, Bobby, in his arms while coming within a few feet of a deadly crocidle. Outrage was global. It was very "Michael Jacksonesque."

If you paid attention to the rumormill, Irwin supposedly has died many times since 1997. In fact, rumors of his death have been circulating on the internet for years. Steve Irwin even responded to these rumors on Discovery.com's website: "I've never been bitten by a venomous snake, and I recently heard that I'd been killed. Ha ha! I've been killed by crocodiles, venomous snakes, spiders. I've even had a beetle crawl in my ear and kill me once. Nah! I'm here to tell you Steve Irwin lives!"

Stingrays are not known to be deadly animals. They do have serrated tails with venom, and only strike when provoked. The last known documented death by a stingray in Australia dates back to 1945. Early reports indicate that the sharp tail struck Irwin's chest, possibly piercing his heart.

The scientific community mourns his death, although there are probably tons of people out there that will say, "I knew it" or "He had it coming." That may be true. But you can't deny the man's contributions to wildlife. He single-handedly brought nature to the living rooms of children all over the world.

In related news, host of Animal Planet's The Jeff Corwin Experience, Jeff Corwin, has decided to not to film his series Deadly Snakes In Deadly Places, and instead will shoot a series about butterflies and ladybugs.

Crikey!