Sunday, June 15, 2008

Object of Her Desire

In a post from 2005, I mentioned a neurological disorder called Kluver-Bucy Syndrome where the sufferer has this unstoppable impulse to have sex with inanimate objects. There are 40 people in the world that have been diagnosed with objectophilia.

Meet Erika La Tour Eiffel (pictured left). Yes, that is her legal name - she changed it a year ago after marrying the Eiffel Tower.

Yes. That's not a typo.

She freaking married the Eiffel Tower.

Mrs. La Tour Eiffel suffers from Objectum-Sexual disorder (among other things, I think). She has had other loves as well. Her first love was "Lance" - a bow she had used to become internationally ranked in archery. In addition, she is in love with the Berlin Wall. And when I mean she's in love with it, I don't mean she simply understands the history and significance of the structure. I mean she's sexually attracted to it.

She has admitted that she has an intimate relationship with a section of fence that's kept in her bedroom in San Francisco. I wonder if it's cedar or PVC.

The Eiffel Tower is her true love, however. And soon after marrying the object, she changed her last name to show her devotion to the 990 foot tall French tower.

So what do you give the happy couple for their 1st wedding anniversary?






How about a can of brasso?



27 comments:

Big Pissy said...

I've read about her.....C R A Z Y !!!

delmer said...

Wasn't it the drummer for Queen who was in love with his car?

BrianAlt said...

Welcome back.

Hopefully you haven't been gone because you've been "sleeping" next to the Great Wall of China.

Mr. Friendly said...

You should have your own TV show. The premise would be crazy (wait, that's too harsh), "differently thinking" people peppered in society. As the protagonist, you would travel the world debunking or verifying certifiable one's wacky plots, loves, or just plain bad ideas.

Of course, a female partner would go along with you as your foil. Trademark phrase could be "Regrettably the truth is out there."

We could call it "The seX Files."

Whaddya think?

jenn said...

Yeah! You're back!!!!!

Wow. And I thought I was hard up for a guy.

kim said...

HOORAY!! Also, who performed the ceremony??

KC said...

First of all, I am so VERY GLAD to see you back again!

I've never heard of this person or this kind of... uh... problem.

Pixie said...

Yay!

:)

Jamie Dawn said...

Long time, no blog.

:-)

That lady is crrrrrazy!
That whole thing about a piece of fence is just hitonious beyond words. I mean doesn't she get splinters?? EEeeeww!!
Maybe she will have an affair with Big Ben.

The Phoenix said...

big pissy: I feel bad for her...you know how expensive it is to fly from San Fran to Paris, France???

delmer: I think he really was in LOVE with his car.

brianalt: Thanks buddy. I'm more of a Pagoda kinda guy.

mr. friendly: What a fantastic idea. Maybe Daisy Fuentes could be my co-host.

jenn: I bet guys are lining up at your doorstep.

The Phoenix said...

KC: Thanks! I wonder if anyone is trying to hump our Gateway Arch.

Pixie: Thanks so much for everything.

JD: I'm still trying to figure out that whole fence thing. I'm hoping it's PVC, but maybe she's an old fashioned girl. What in the world are you doing up so late girlfriend???

Phred said...

This "marriage" raises all kinds of questions. But I guess we shouldn`t go into them here..
Good to see you back.

the weirdgirl said...

Why do all the nut jobs have to live near me?! $10 she's already tried initiating legislation for legalizing person-nonperson marriage.

At least that fencing wasn't a piece of clapboard. Ha, get it? CLAPboard?

(I'm so funny.)

stephanie said...

I saw something once about a guy who married his house. I wonder if it's along those lines.

Also, welcome back!

Sherri said...

I really like the new look!!

As for the woman, I would think she could have picked something a little more 'woman friendly' to be married to. Like, maybe a sex toy. LOL

ms.a said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Fated said...

Horray you are back!

People are weird. As long as someone is not attracted to a wood chipper, hey?

Jenn said...

At least it doesn't fight with her!

The Phoenix said...

phred: I guess the concept of "marriage" is really getting challenged lately.

WG: I was wondering why all the freaky-dos live near you. You crack me up, by the way.

stephanie: I'm going to look that up. Thanks - great to be back.

Sherrie: I'm glad you like the new design. Yeah, marrying a sex toy would probably make her quite normal.

fated: OR a weedwhacker. Ouch.

Jenn: I wonder which side of the fence she sits on..hahahahaha.

David Amulet said...

It appears that, contrary to well-meaning denials, size DOES matter.

It's a happy week. You're back.

Jamie Dawn said...

Yep, I WAS up late.

Perplexio said...

Well, in all fairness to her. The Eiffel Tower does look rather phallic and I don't think even John Holmes could be as impressive in the bedroom as Le Tower Eiffel.

Anonymous said...

she has a syndrom called kluver bucy syndrom.THIS IS DUE TO A LESION ON THE MYGDLALA ON THE TEMPORAL LOBE.

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