"Internet Addiction" might not be a recognized disorder by the American Psychiatric Association, but a new clinic recently opened - a clinic that helps people "unplug." If you, or someone you know, is addicted to getting online, they can go to The Heavensfield Retreat Center in Fall City, WA and enter their reStart program.
They've created a little quiz to self-diagnose yourself of this horrible addiction. I decided to take some liberties with their questions and infuse it with my own questionnaire. I take my inspiration from Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck if..." jokes.
You might be an internet addict if...
1) You dropped cable or dish service because YouTube is all you need.
2) You actually say L-O-L instead of laughing or I-D-K instead of saying "I don't know."
3) You've ended a relationship via Twitter, Facebook, a chatroom, or plain e-mail.
4) Everything in your garage, living room, and bedroom has been purchased from craigslist
5) You have gotten into at least one argument at a Panera Bread over access to the outlet for your laptop.
6) You actually wish you could just press Ctrl, Alt, Delete in real life.
7) You can't program your VCR's clock, but you can set up a wireless network in your house.
8) You asked your lawn boy if he accepts Paypal.
9) You've actually set up a web page for your pet.
And finally, you might be addicted to the internet if...
10) You named your child "E-Bay."
By the way, to enter the clinic's reStart program will only set you back $14,500.
For half that, I will come to your house and kick your ass every time you turn on your computer.
For those with a real addiction to the internet, this program uses various successful methods in breaking that addition. The treatment focuses on the patient living real life, doing activities that don't include the internet. Internet use during treatment is a big no-no.
For more information on the reStart internet addiction recovery program, you can visit their website at: www.netaddictionrecovery.com
You can also check out their blog at www.netaddictionrecovery.com/blog.html
Or you can visit their Facebook page at http://www.netaddictionrecovery.com/social-network/facebook.html
Or you can visit their Twitter page at http://twitter.com/GetYourLifeBack
Or you can go their YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/netaddictionrecovery
So get online to learn more about reStart's internet addiction recovery.