Wednesday, November 9, 2011

How Oxymoronical!

One of my most favorite figures of speech has to be the oxymoron. Nevermind that the word "oxymoron" looks like some new buzz-speak for a junkie that sniffs too much bleach.

An oxymoron is a literary device where you take a couple words that contradict each other, smash 'em up together to somehow make sense. Got it? It's the power of the paradox, not to be confused with the power of the pair-of-ducks.

Here are some of my favorite oxymora of all time:

Living In the Past (Really? Have a time machine do you?)

Rap Artist (Ouch. I do like some rap, but only maybe a handful I would consider an artist)

Sight Unseen (Steve Wonder I'm sure is offended)

Act Naturally (Which would you have me do?)

Ladies Man (One of my favorite SNL skits, but not enough to make a whole movie with)

Lovers' Quarrel (Hurts so good)

Amicable Divorce (Similar to a lovers' quarrel?)

Congressional Action (Don't even get me started!)

Live Recording (Is it Memorex?)

Anarchy Rules (Sounds a lot like Occupy Wall Street)

Criminal Justice (If the glove don't fit...well the syringe just might)

Extra Virgin [Olive Oil] (Sprinkled for the very first time)

Freezer Burn (I once attempted to eat a Hot Pocket in this state. I was a poor college kid)

The Odds are Even (this is why I don't gamble)

And my favorite oxymoron EVER:

We're going back to the future!


T. S. Bazelli said...

This made me laugh! I hadn't stopped to think about those phrases before ;)

The Desert Rocks said...

Brilliant. I was expecting the same old Military intelligence, and jumbo shrimp mumbo-jumbo. Thanks for some clarity! Loved it. :)

Jay Noel said...

T.S. - I'm glad you could get a chuckle from this post.

Eve - I wanted to find some that weren't the typical oxymoron examples.

Milo James Fowler said...

Anarchy Rules = Occupy ________ -- nice one!

Mr. Shife said...

Good ones, Jay. Oxymorons rock, and this is a great list. One of my favorites is military intelligence, and one I hate that needs to be changed is friendly fire.

cube said...

Lol. Great list. I would only add jumbo shrimp :-)

Jay Noel said...

Milo - Yeah, I thought that one was pretty relevant

Shife - "Friendly Fire" just seems very patronizing to me. Like an insult.

Cube - Thanks. Jumbo shrimp always makes me smile too!

M Pax said...

I love 'oxymoron'. Great word.

My favorite is one I saw: people smoking in front of the health food store. Visual oxymoron.

Phats said...

HA! I remember studying these in English class

Jay Noel said...

M Pax: Visual oxymoron = incongruous
One of my favorite words!

Phats: See, teachers can make a difference.

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