|Yippeeee! My plane didn't crash.|
Anyhoo, I was in Dallas for some sales training. Yeah, hee-haw! The first day focused on presentation skills. I rolled my eyes too, but in the end, it was very interesting. Since I'm in sales, I rely on reading body language quite a bit, and I even studied it in college. I'm not sure about the 93% of communication being non-verbal stat you hear quoted a bunch, but we can all agree that it's often how you say something that tells the REAL truth.
Here are my tidbits of body language that you can keep an eye out for when you're at work or heck, even on a date!
Hands Clenched. Ever see someone at a meeting that looks like they're praying. Their hands are clenched together, fingers interlaced, palms touching. This is not to be confused with the "steeple" gesture. Scientists say that the hands clenched gesture shows frustration. The person doing the clenching is hiding negative feelings. Experts also say that how high the clenched hands indicates just how negative they are.
So if the clenched hands are up (elbows on the table) near his face, they're more negative. If they're on the table, even with the elbows, less negative, and then others might have their clenched hands down near or below their waist, showing even less negative attitudes.
|I got the power!|
However, if you lower the steeple down to your waist, however, experts say that shows someone is listening keenly. It shows confidence too, but a more open kind of confidence.
Hand-to-Mouth Combat. Also called the "mouth guard." When someone is trying to deceive you with their words, they will put their hand to their mouth. The brain is trying to suppress the lies. Often, liars will even do a fake cough and then cover their mouths. LIAR! If the speaker does the mouth guard, he's lying.
If the person listening does the mouth guard, guess what - they think YOU are the liar.
Nose touching and eye rubbing are variations of the mouth guard. Not good signs that the person you're speaking with is being honest with you. By the way, if a person's nose is itchy, they will scratch the damn thing. If they're lying, they will lightly touch or brush their nose. You know that's not going to satisfy an itch!
Interesting Dating Gestures. This is where we separate the boys from the girls. The following is only for heterosexual folks only, although I'm pretty sure many of the gestures also somewhat follow similar patterns with those that are homosexual. The sexes all have separate gestures indicating how attracted they are to someone. Men will hook their thumbs (think cowboys in Western movies) into their waist or belts to show how virile they are.
When men enter a big social gathering where women are present, they will pretty much seek to make eye contact with just about every single woman there. If the women returns the gesture, that means (at least) some initial interest or attraction. Basically, men are looking for one thing: willingness.
Women are a little different, they will scan the room, seeking out the attractive men. But they zero-in on their man of choice. Women are much more picky and discriminating in such a social setting.
Eye Contact. Don't stare into someone's eyes for longer than five seconds. Otherwise, it creeps people out. I hate it when people stare into my eyes - especially in business settings. It's like they're trying to dive into my soul. 3-5 seconds, and then break the gaze. Obviously, you can return to looking into someone's eyes (and if there's attraction, go for it). But in a more professional and non-dating situation, watch the eyeball lock!
But there are also cultural differences at work with eye gazes. For example, Japanese people look at a person's neck instead of their face while having a conversation.
If you're speaking with someone, in order to build rapport, make sure you match the other person's gaze 60-70% of the time. Anything over that, you might come off as too aggressive or a damn stalker.